How to Stay Sober This Summer

Can you enjoy summer without putting your recovery at risk?

In this episode of AAC Thrive, we talk about navigating vacations, barbecues, weddings, and other summer events without losing sight of your recovery. Melina, one of our alumni coordinators who is in long-term recovery herself, shares practical advice for planning, setting boundaries, handling social pressure, and remembering that protecting your recovery is never something you have to apologize for.

AAC Thrive: Doing Life in Recovery is a podcast from American Addiction Centers' Alumni Community, where we have honest conversations about what recovery really looks like after treatment. Subscribe for new episodes and share this one with someone who could use the reminder that recovery doesn't take a vacation.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:10

We are going to talk today about a summer recovery survival guide. So, Melina, let's start at the top. What is it about the summer that can make recovery feel a little bit harder?

SPEAKER_01 0:23

I really love this topic because I think that summer sometimes comes with this big expectation that it should be fun and exciting. And then sometimes uh people in recovery are not having that sort of experience. And I think one of the things about summer that can be challenging is the change in routine. A lot of times we're taught that, oh, you know, get a routine, make a plan. And the very nature of summer starts to be that there are usually more events going on. Um, you know, I live in Florida, so a lot of times beach days with beach drinking days, um, but even in other states, right? Lake days or more family time, barbecues, um, vacation, things that will throw the regular schedule of the routine uh off. And I think that's one of those challenges that happen often when summer comes.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah, that makes sense. So if someone, if you know you're going to a barbecue, a wedding, a summer party, a vacation, what what can you do beforehand to set yourself up for success?

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I still would say that preparation is everything, right? We talked about routine, but like having a plan um is still um essential. So having um I think that having the preparation. Uh, if you're going to a barbecue, I always recommend to maybe bring an item that they like to eat. Uh so often we talked about the hangry, right? Like if you're hungry, angry, lonely, tired, uh, to have that be addressed before preparing, like taking a nap before going to the event so you're rested uh and not irritable and discontent. Making sure that you bring a drink that is a sober drink for you in case all there is there is alcohol. Uh so I think preparation will be fundamental in order to attend these events. And um, I also would one of my biggest suggestions is to let someone know that you're going to possibly be bringing someone with you that has long-term recovery as support. So you have another person who's also recovering with you. So you don't feel isolated or different, but now you have a companion there that that is in your shoes. But but that that person has some some stability, long-term sobriety, not so much another person who's in early recovery that could that could be a risk situation for them too.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

That makes sense. Um, before you also mentioned that summer is harder because it throws us off from routine, which is so important in recovery. And so you've given some great tips on sort of getting through that when you're going to these events. What about when you're away from home on vacation? Do you have what what are sort of your go-tos for staying connected, staying in recovery and thriving while you're away?

SPEAKER_01 3:57

So I think today we have a lot more resources for that in terms of being away and taking your recovery with you. So yes, you're moving, you you know, maybe not moving, but you're going to a new city and maybe you don't know where the meetings are, but there are some apps now that have uh resources available for finding a meeting quite easily. Uh there are uh apps or there are meetings virtually that you can still attend uh while being away. So maybe you won't be able to attend your regular um meeting, but that's such an opportunity to be exposed to something new and variety and something different, and being open-minded to um to that opportunity of being away. So it won't be the same structure, but being open to a different um resources that are available, such as these online virtual access. Uh, for the case of our American Addiction Center, we're so lucky because we do have an app that is being offered to have ongoing support. Um, but I think in general, we have a lot more support ongoing for uh um, you know, taking your recovery with you even when you go away. That you know, you're on vacation, your recovery is not on vacation.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Right. No, that makes sense. And um, you brought up a good point that going to meetings, what about some and how easy it is to find now with apps and things like that. You can find a meeting wherever you are in the world, right? What about also doing research maybe beforehand or some out of that places that offer mocktails? Because I part of traveling, right, is experiencing a new city and all that it has to offer, but you also want to make sure that you're supporting your recovery. So, do you have some suggestions for things that you should definitely make sure you add to your itinerary or think about for your itinerary to support your recovery?

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Yes, I think that you you added something very important, right? That that that doing a little research ahead of time, seeing what activities are there, something that uh may be more recovery-friendly as an activity that is not just outings that include drinking, but if there is an outing that includes drinkings, what are the sober options? Uh again, I think that is very important to make sure that um that you prepare food-wise. The other thing is being able to exit early if you if needed, you know, having a plan for that, if if so, kind of communicate with the family uh or or the friends, whoever you're traveling with, that you have um that in mind that you communicate and and kind of prepare for it.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

That's a good point that you bring up, the leaving early. I do know that a lot of people feel guilty or can feel guilty leaving early. Are there signs that you think people should look for that that tell them or other, you know, maybe others, if they've like you said, tell others that you might need to exit early. So your support system, are there signs that you should be aware of or they should be aware of that it's not just okay, it's necessary to leave early, to leave now, to step away?

SPEAKER_01 7:37

Yes, I think that um, you know, I can almost make a joke. You know, leaving early is not rude. It would be a lot more disastrous if a person starts using when they don't need to be using. So uh it would be a lot more rude for them to stay and relapse than for them to leave early to put put their recovery at jeopardy. So it is not rude to leave early. I think there is a way to communicate that. And ahead of time, uh, when loved ones love you, they probably already know that you are in recovery. Uh, if it is something that requires a little bit more discretion, um saying no is a full sentence. I think that uh worth becoming a society that is a lot more aware of mental health and boundaries and taking care of our needs. You can say, hey, I'm a little tired, you know, uh it's summer. The the heat got the best out of me. Uh there's always some um really reasonable reasons of why you're uh excusing yourself from, hey, I had enough fun and it's time for me to go, especially when you already felt, you know, irritable, you're starting to uh notice maybe the cravings or the triggers or just being overstimulated with you know your nervous system. So having that freedom um to put your recovery first, I think it's it's fundamental, right? Like your well-being.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

And you brought up something um in the beginning. You said you you want to go to these events like rested. So maybe even some of those things are like make sure you're not hungry and you're not tired, right? Because those things cannot just play into making it harder to sustain your recovery, but also, I mean, make good decisions in general, right? Like leaving early. If you're hungry or tired, it's sometimes harder to do those things. So if you if you look out for those hungry, tired triggers in the beginning, you can maybe help, right? Or that can help.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Um I think I think you know, having that little moment to check in with self, you know, pause even before entering uh the circumstances or event that you if you have to go. Sometimes people have weddings or um some destination that they're at. Okay, like how am I doing? Right. Let me pause and check in. Hey, am I rested? And I having that moment of pause to check in with self is fundamental, right? And maybe even checking out, like reaching out to a support, whether it's a sponsor or maybe maybe you make an appointment ahead of time with your therapist uh or a friend. Really, it doesn't have to be just a professional, but having somewhat of support to say, hey, listen, I'm gonna uh enter some situation that could potentially be high risk. Are you available to take a call in case I need to uh step, you know, away for a couple minutes to check in? And sometimes just knowing somebody would be there for you is enough to allow your nervous system to relax and and kind of enjoy that situation a lot better than you feeling like you're entering alone.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

Yeah, that makes sense. Um, so going back, a lot of people in early recovery worry that they won't have fun again, right? Because they're remembering themselves using substances. So, what would you say to someone who thinks life won't be enjoyable after drugs and alcohol are not in the picture?

SPEAKER_01 11:28

I think that's such a common thing that occurs. I have heard so many people say that for them. I think even for myself, one of my biggest fears when I first got sober was that that, hey, like what am I gonna do now? Like I it isn't is not fun, even though for most of us, if we take an honest inventory, is the fun had already been over. Uh, but it is a uh very understandable fear that a lot of people um have. Like, hey, is it is it's am I is it gonna be awkward or uh am I gonna be able to laugh again? Uh how can I connect with people? I think that fear does occur for people. Um and partially having that concern sometimes causes us more anxiety. But when we when we start to just get present and and communicate, uh it does relieve that, right? And and we have witnessed so many people really truly live and enjoy life without the use of drugs, right? I think the more we witness people in recovery also living and enjoying, it gives it a little bit of that hope and and and that, hey, like if it's possible for them, I believe it is possible for me too. Because for most people, it's not whether people can have fun. I think that what I hear from from a lot of other fellow fellows in recovery is not so much that they don't think it's possible to have fun, they see and have seen others live and enjoy life sober is a more like will I. I think that the more that they are open-minded to experience some different kinds of uh opportunities to enjoy the sober fun life, they will have that experience and say, hey, listen, I'm having fun again.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

So, what are some of your favorite things to do in the summer specifically, since that's what we're focusing on, um that are like what you love to do for sober fun during the summer?

SPEAKER_01 13:49

I am such a beach girl. I really am. Like I love the ocean, I love sunrises, I love sunsets, nature, um, sports, yoga on the beach. I mean, basically anything on the beach coming in, right? Boating. Um, but I I think that sometimes even, you know, um hanging out with my friends and connecting because life gets busy and now the kids are, you know, they have a little bit of a break and we can hang out and eat good food. I am a foodie, so eating good food is amazing. Maybe um I last week did a wellness pot, right? Like a little treat day. It's amazing how much money we save from not spending on uh the addiction. So it's an investment to making oneself to say, hey, let me do some self-care, some uh that I spend with myself. Um hobbies in general that people are into. I myself love yoga. Um I do uh like to hang out with my friends and my family. Um and and sometimes, even as we said said earlier, and sometimes I want a break and fix it early. But my loved ones now are so used to that they they just look okay, she she needs a break. And I she had enough. And especially if they are consuming substance uh that you know it just doesn't align with my recovery and my well-being, and they respect that. They they they know, but not everyone has been able to be incomfortable in their own skin in recovery, and I assured that comes with the experience.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

So that is a great point to bring up because it is true that not everybody needs to know necessarily that you're in recovery, right? It's totally your choice to share or not. But do you have some tips on some ways that people can handle those um interactions that when they feel maybe pressured to drink or use something because everybody else is, and they're, you know, even someone who's been in recovery for a long time and it's like, oh, come on, just one's not gonna hurt.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

I was once at a wedding and they're like, just and and they they poured a uh a toast just enough, right? And they're like, oh, just for the toast. Like you're not you don't want to drink with us, it's just for the toast. And it's like, you know, sometimes people just they they mean well and they simply don't understand what recovery really means. Um, and and and no thank you is a full sentence. Uh, I think that we can have things like, hey, I'm on a special wellness um uh diet, right? And and I'm doing no no sugar or I'm doing no whatever, like I'm I'm I'm no alcohol, right? Because sometimes it's like, okay, I also don't, I I also want to be able to eat the dessert and not say no sugar. So just to say, hey, you know, I I I'm deciding to choose my my calories to come from the good food versus the drinking. So that's a good one, especially because nowadays we're so much more health conscious. Uh, I think 2026 is a there are things that are easier about us um overall well-being, that it that it doesn't have to be oh, I because I'm sober, but taking better care of my health, the end. Uh right. I think that's usually a good um good answer. Or I'm driving tonight, uh, if that's the case, you know, for safety reasons. Um, some people may even be comfortable enough to say, hey, I'm taking medication that conflicts conflicts with the drinking, so I am passing on the drink.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Yeah. No, all good suggestions. And I think it makes it easier for people to feel like they can still go to these things without having to say, I'm in recovery, if they're not quite there yet. I mean, I know we always say, you know, live your recovery out loud because it'll help somebody else. But I also know that you have to meet people where they are, right? And some people might not be ready for that. So if you had one piece of advice you'd want to share with someone who's listening to remember this summer, whether they again are one day or 100 days or more into their recovery, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 18:39

I think my message always is stay connected. You know, stay connected, uh, stay present to the beauty of life and gratitude. Um that uh I think making a plan is always ideal. Uh, and maybe having a couple different options in case, you know, plant A doesn't work out. The biggest reminder that I would say is that you're not missing out on exposing yourself to addiction, right? The addiction always guarantees that things will be get worse. That is it's one promise from addiction is that things will get worse. Um, I think summer recovery is not about avoiding life, it's about it's learning how to specify in life with clarity, connection, and self-respect.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

I love that. That's a good message for all of us in recovery or or not, right?

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Yes. And and you know, the other thing about boundaries that, you know, a boundary doesn't have to come with biography, right? Like you don't need to give a whole lot of explanation. You can stand from a place of self love and self care and and and that that will always be you doing right by you. Yeah. No, that's great.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Well, I appreciate this. Thank you so much, Melina.